So long, Sarah!

Sarah Huckabee-Sanders

Press Office

White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, D.C 20500

 

Dear Sarah,

I was rather surprised to hear of your decision to resign from your current position as White House Press Secretary.  I understand that it is a very stressful job not to hold press briefings and to disseminate  both dis- and mis- information.  I imagine you’re looking forward to spending more time with your kids and reacquainting yourself with general standards of honesty and decency.  But, seriously, you were such a great match for Donald that I imagined that the two of you would be together to the bitter end.  In a bunker.  Like Hitler and Goebbels. Only without the laughs.

I was a little worried for you at first.  When you stepped into the breach after Spicey jumped ship, I thought, “Uh-oh.  How is this sweet little Arkansas rose going to cope with the daily grind of apologizing for Trump’s lies?” But how was I to know that you’d hit on the perfect strategy for keeping Trump happy by doubling down on his lies?  I’d watch in utter awe as you’d insist that black was white, day was night, and Jared was a fucking genius. You didn’t drown in the swamp:  you claimed it as your own and swam in it like an otter, or maybe a water snake.  Good for you, not to let a little thing like integrity get in the way of you and your boss.  It’s almost as if you didn’t think that a free press were essential to a democracy!

So, Sarah, this one’s for you.  I’m raising my metaphorical glass of Kool-Aid to you. Here’s to Sarah Huckabee-Sanders.  The one who put the “fun” in “dysfunction,” the “dis” in “dishonesty,” and, most of all, the “F.U.” in “obfuscate.”  We’ll never see the likes of you again.  If we’re lucky.

Best regards,

D.R. Miller

 

©2019 D.R. Miller